You know the word "sandwich"? It is named after the Earl of Sandwich. He was some guy back in the day who said, "Hey, you know what? This piece of meat is a lot easier to eat with your hands if you put some bread around it." And so he did. And it was tasty. And now, hundreds of years later, the Earl of Sandwich is immortalized every day when you pick up your pastrami on rye or your ham and Swiss. Yes, the Earl of Sandwich invented a delicious lunch for all of civilization. He is my hero.
So, once I finished writing this post, I realized, "Hey, I said he was my hero, like 'hero', as in the sandwich!" But then I realized I really didn't intend for the play on words to be the joke. I really just wanted to express that the Earl of Sandwich is my hero, not to trivialize his accomplishments for the sake of a pun. After that clarification, I am confident that I have saved his honor. And ruined any chance of this post being even mildly humorous.