Making Outlets Inlets

We asked you to write a haiku about your air travel experiences in last week's Game Time. You did not disappoint. We had some good answers, but here was our favorite:

Not many choices
But this is inedible
Mama Ilardo's

That entry was submitted by TONY. No need to shout, Tony, we can hear you fine. Ah, but then maybe you are hard of hearing, in which case, CONGRATULATIONS.

Yesterday, Mike thought that a more appropriate name for an "outlet" was an "inlet." We liked the idea, and made it this week's game:

Give a household item a more appropriate name.

Winner, as always, gets a shout-out. So, put on your thinking caps, and post your ideas in the comments.

Inlets

You know those things that we plug cords into? For some reason, they are called electrical "outlets." But, they are more like "inlets" to me. You plug things into them, not out of them. To save a debate as to which is the correct term, I suggest we change the name to "fork holders."

Got the Fever?

You ever wonder why when you're sick, they always say that you've got something? Like you've got a cold, you've got a fever, you've got the mange? Why isn't it the other way around? Cause I always feel that when I'm sick, I don't have the better of the cold or whatever, it's got me.

From now on, I will say "The fever's got me" when I'm sick. Unless of course I have something else. Or I forget to say that because it is so unnatural.

It's Raining Men

You know that song, "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls? You know, it goes like this:

It's raining men!
Hallelujah!
It's raining men! Amen!

Well, my point is, the song is enjoyable enough. I mean, it's not spectacular, but it's a fun little song that you can dance to. A word of caution, though, to aspiring musicians: If you want to avoid being a one-hit wonder, don't name your group after your only good song. Where would Neil Diamond be if he was called, "That Guy Who Sings 'Sweet Caroline'"? What's that? You don't know who Neil Diamond is? Oh, he's that guy who sings "Sweet Caroline".

Chapter 7: Inspiration

Just when it looked like the two brothers would never be able to think of a satisfactory super power, Johnny, swept by a wind of inspiration, spoke.

"Hey! You know what I'd really want? If I had a super power, I would want to be able to know all the lyrics to every song ever written." Johnny said.

"Ooh, good one! I'd have that, too!" Mike said.

"Nope, no copycats."

"Just one copycats?" Mike asked.

"No copycats! Think of your own power."

"In that case," Mike paused for a moment before his eyes lit up, "I'd want to be able to wave my hand and magically get a new hat!" Mike said.

"Now, you're talking!" Johnny said, and the two began to explore their new-found loose interpretation of the term "super power".

Airpoetry

Last week, we were looking for some good campaign slogans for the presidential hopefuls. Sid wins this round. To Sid: Congrats! To everyone else: remove the "Cong".

Earlier this week, Johnny talked about an interesting experience he had at the airport. We thought we would ask for some of your travel stories. But, we are gonna spice things up a bit:

Write a haiku about an airport experience.

Ooh, a haiku, you say? What is that? Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables? Well, right you are! And here is ours:

They offered us juice
We had no time to drink it
It was a short flight.

Hit us with your poetry, and you just might be this week's winner! Well, I guess not this week's winner, since Sid is already this week's winner. But you can be next week's winner! Even better.

Yes, We Can!

Barack Obama has gotten into a little bit of trouble recently due to claims that he may have plagiarized part of one of his speeches. To me, at least, it is very clear that Obama is a thief of words. Just ask Bob the Builder.

What in the world is in that bag

I was at an airport this weekend, and before you board, you have to go security. And that means you have to go through a metal detector. Well, when I was going through security, the airport security workers were transporting wheelchairs somewhere, and every time a person went through the metal detector, the thing went off because the other people were moving the metal wheelchairs. So they had to send the person back through the line, wait for the wheelchair people to stop moving, and then make the person walk through the metal detector again.

And the best part was, the guy always thought we were hiding something metal. He never thought, "Hmm, maybe we should stop sending those metal wheelchairs through at the same time as the passengers." Nope, he was thinking, "The thing went off! He's got a weapon! ARREST THA--well, let's make him go through one more time just in case. ... Drat."

Jigsaws

I was doing a jigsaw puzzle the other day, and it got me to thinking. What is a jigsaw? What would happen if you tried to cut down a tree with a jigsaw? Would you get strange shapes of logs that interlock if you match them up correctly? What if you switched a lumberjack's saw with a jigsaw? Would he be really confused, or would he immediately recognize the jigsaw from his days making Lincoln logs? You see, when you are doing a jigsaw puzzle, you have plenty of time to think of stupid questions.

Chapter 6: Burrowing

"What super power would I have?" Mike thought to himself, as if he were hearing the question for the first time. "Hmm...." It appeared as though Mike had inadvertently stumped himself with his own question.

"Come on, think of something." Johnny encouraged. "Like flying. Except not flying, that's mine."

"That's ok," Mike began, "I don't want to fly. I think I would want to burrow. That way, I would not run the risk of flying into buildings and airplanes and stuff."

"But flying helps you survey the land for possible misdoings. How would you find out about the misdoings from under ground?" Johnny asked.

"Dude, I burrow. Obviously, my legion of faithful groundhogs would report to me."

"Oh, of course. But wouldn't you get dirty with all your burrowing? And you can't just send your super suit to the dry cleaners. Then they'd know your secret identity!

"Oh, wow, you're right. I hadn't thought of that."

"Yeah, it's too bad, cause everything else seemed reasonable."

"Maybe I could also have the super power to wash dirt off super suits," Mike suggested

"Mike, we are trying to be realistic with our super powers, please!"

The two sat pondering: Johnny thought more on his super power, while Mike wondered if his faithful legion of groundhogs had the ability to clean super suits.

Campaign T-Shirts

Last Game Time's question asked you to combine two holidays into one. We had lots of good answers, but we thought the best was Mike's. So, Mike wins. What a fun game!

On Tuesday, Johnny thought of a good idea for a campaign t-shirt for Barack Obama. And Hillary Clinton. But hers wasn't so good. So, we put the task to you:

Come up with a campaign t-shirt for any of the Presidential hopefuls for 2008 Campaign.

We'd make ours for the Republican ex-candidate Mitt Romney:

Mitt: 2 Legit 2 Quit.
Except he did.

Ah, now that's a winner. What yours?

Happy Valentine's Day

I was about start this post like this: For those of you who don't know, today is Valentine's Day.

Then I thought, that sounds like something we at the Pake Shlake Band would say quite a bit, if I know us at the Pake Shlake Band. So I did a little google action. (For those of you who don't know, google is a web search engine used to find information on the internet.) And what did I find? This little gem. No, not that little gem, this little gem.

So apparently, Mike started his Halloween post very similar to how I was going to start my Valentine's Day post.

And after all that, I've forgotten what I was going to say. Oh well. Happy Valentine's Day, XOXO, You Pierce My Heart, yada yoda yada.

(I threw in a Yoda in there, did you see it?)

See it I did, young Padawan.

(Huh?)

Presintine's Day

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, as is President's Day weekend, and that got me thinking about this week's Game Time. I think it would be cool to combine these two holidays to create Presintine's Day. You could still give out cards, but instead of being shaped like hearts, they could be profiles of Presidents. And the cards could have clever plays-on-words like Valentine's Day cards have now. "You 'Pierce' my heart" or "Our love is 'Taylor' made." Woo, boy! Presintine's Day cards can always get a laugh!

Political T-Shirts

With all the presidential campaigning going on these days, I think the Obama team should sell T-shirts that say, "Barack the Vote." And I also think the Clinton campaign should sell T-shirts that say, "Don't Barack the Vote."

Chapter 5: Role Reversal

"Can't you think of a power that one could use for good instead of evil?" Mike asked.

"Dude, I've already thought of like ten, but apparently my choices for super powers are either too ordinary or too practical for you." Johnny said.

"Robbing banks is not practical!" Mike protested.

"Not if they can see you it's not." Johnny replied. He was getting tired of answering the same question, so he decided to ask the same question. "OK, Mike, if YOU were a super hero and could have any super power, what would it be?"

"Heck, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. Why do you ask?"

Johnny frowned, justifiably so if I may add.

A New Day

Last week, we were curious who your court jester would be, if you were king. Zo wins for his answer: Snoop Dogg. Congratizzle to the Zizzle for his ansizzle.

This week, we talked about Supers, Fats, and Tuesdays, and used the term Super Fat Tuesday to refer to the combination. We thought we would extend the concept:

Combine two holidays and create a new name.

Ooh? This week's Game Time is not a question, but rather a command. How authoritative of us. Of course, we know neither Super Tuesday nor Mardi Gras is a holiday per se, but we at the Pake Shlake Band are lenient with our definitions. As for our answer, while we like Super Fat Tuesday, we would combine Arbor Day and Labor Day and get Labrador Day. What would you do?

Super Fat Tuesday

Johnny was talking about Super Tuesday and Mardi Gras yesterday. That got me thinking: When was the last time that Super Tuesday and Fat Tuesday were on the same day? I decided to ask Johnny today, and he said, "Dude, it happened like two days ago. Where were you?" Sometimes Johnny is not very helpful.

Super Fat Ash Week

So yesterday was a big day. Not only was it a big day for the 2008 presidential primaries, but it was also the last day before Lent. What does that mean? It was Super Tuesday and Fat Tuesday... Super Fat Tuesday!

What do you think? A little too much buildup, not enough punchline? Yeah, me too. Lemme try again.


 

So today is Ash Wednesday, the day when Catholics get ashes on their foreheads to symbolize the beginning of Lent. I wonder what would happen if one priest marked it wrong on his calendar and started putting ashes on people's heads on some random Wednesday in June or something. You think the parishoners would say something? Probably not. Free ashes!

Right Number

I like receiving wrong numbers, because, to me, there is no such thing thing as a wrong number. You may have called a different number than you intended to, but who am I to say it's wrong? I think it is embarrassing when someone tells you that you called the wrong person. So, I like to talk with caller and pretend to be whoever it is they think I am. Eventually, they realize I am not and they hang up on their own. That way, no one gets embarrassed.

Chapter 4: Invisibility

"Invisibility?" Mike questioned. "Okay, that's at least something. So you could use that to sneak up on the bad guys?"

"Heck no! I think you are a little confused."

Mike was a little confused. "Well, then why would you want invisibility?"

"What do you mean!?!" Johnny replied. "If I were invisible, I could do whatever I wanted and nobody would know. Think of how many banks I could rob if I were invisible and I could fly!"

"Dude! You're a super hero, not a super villain." Mike frowned at him and shook his head. "Super heroes don't rob banks."

"This one would."

Kings of Comedy

For the last Game Time, we wondered what you would fill your piñata with. Or rather, with what would you fill your piñata. (As our English teacher used to say, "Don't end no sentences with no prepositions!") The winner is Luca, for his anatomically correct response. Winner receives treats from his piñata. Yum!

Earlier in the week, Johnny talked about being the King of Nopar. That got us thinking about all the duties a king has to perform. Of all the duties, this was the most important:

If you were king, who would you appoint court jester?

We would hire Gallagher. What ruler wouldn't enjoy watching a good watermelon smashing? Who would you hire? As always, winner gets a shout out. Or rather, winner gets an out with which to shout.