Friday, August 29, 2008

What Do They Say?

In our most recent Game Time, we decided we would change the US National Anthem. And the people have spoken: Gary Glitter has replaced Francis Scott Key and Rock & Roll Part II has ousted the Star-Spangled Banner. "Hey!" indeed, my friends, "Hey!" indeed.

Yesterday, Johnny had an odd post, with some sort of old adage on it, a truism, if you will. We liked the idea:

Create a new saying that sounds like an old saying.

A good test to see if your answer is good is to throw some sort of introduction to it, like, "Well, you know what they say..." and then put your saying there and see how it sounds. To illustrate what we mean, we will reproduce our answer and truncate it to make it sound cooler:

Well, you know what they say: Every time it rains, it rains.

Simple enough, right? Post it here.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Every time it rains, it rains.

Every time it rains, it rains
Every time it snow, it snows.

Vote for National Anthem

This past Friday, we asked everybody what song we should use as our new National Anthem. New National Anthem because "The Star Spangled Banner" just doesn't cut it anymore. And since it doesn't cut it, we need to cut it. Out. Cut it out. And replace it. With one of these:


Pick your favorite fast and we'll tell you the winner tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Opening Ceremonies

For those of you who don't know, the Democratic National Convention started on Monday. I tuned in on the first day and am sad to say I was sorely disappointed. There were no fireworks, no legion of drummers, no flying men, no gigantic flame. What kind of opening ceremony is that? I doubt the Republican Convention next week will be much different. It is clear to me that American political parties need to take some tips from China.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Presidential Race

So NBC ran this commercial near the end of the Olympics about one more race and how an American would win and how the whole world would be watching and how it would be exciting and stuff, and they were basically talking about the upcoming Presidential Race as if it were a part of the Olympics. But that got me thinking. Why don't we actually have a presidential race? I mean, we have debates and mudslinging and things. Why not throw in a foot race? It wouldn't decide anything, but it could sway a voter one way or the other?

And I nominate racewalking as the race. That or the Three-Legged Race with their VPs.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Chapter 32: Mike's Decision

When we last left our heroes, they were trying to find a place to start practicing their super powers. Their newly found friend, the talking fox, said he might be able to help.

"Follow me, " he said, and started walking towards the alley.

Johnny gave Mike a sideways look. "Should we trust him?"

"I don't know...I don't think he's evil."

"Yeah, I feel like we should trust him, but I'm not sure."

"Well, if he is mischievous, we could probably take him," Mike said.

"Yeah, we can take him out if we have to."

"Hey, guys, I'm right here, can you not talk about offing me when I'm right in front of you?"

"Oh, right. Lead the way!."

"Um, okay, but will you promise not to off me?"

Mike and Johnny looked at each other. Mike turned to the fox. "We promise not to off you. We're the good guys, remember?"

And that assurance was enough to assuage the fox's fears, and he began to lead the two down the alley.

Friday, August 22, 2008

National Anthem

Last week for Game Time, we asked you to name two people you would like to see compete in the newest Olympic event, The Three-Legged Race. You got to vote for the winner, and it was a tie. Half of you wanted to see Usain Bolt with a random partner, and the other half wanted to see Bob Costas and a rabid wolverine. But, since I don't think the IOC allows species other than Homo Sapiens to compete, we at the Pake Shlake Band have decided to break the tie and award the win to DJ. Congrats, partner!

As the XXIX Olympiad winds down, we have noticed that NBC plays the US National Anthem a lot, showing the medal ceremonies and whatnot. And while the Star Spangled Banner is an OK song, I think we as a nation can do better. Here is this week's game:

If you got to choose the national anthem, what song would you pick?

We wanted to choose a song that everyone knows. One that can be sung in preparation for war, or in celebration of victory. One that inspires hope in all of our diverse people. So, we choose Thriller by Michael Jackson. What could be better than a super smash song sung by an American that, if needed, comes with a choreographed war dance?

Think you know an answer to the rhetorical question from the last paragraph? Put our new national anthem in the comments.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Ms. Scarlet in the Floor Exercise with the Rope

Did you know there were two different types of gymnastics in the Olympics? They have the one they show on TV all the time, with the high bar and the balance beam and the vault and stuff. That's called artistic gymnastics. Then they have a second type called rhythmic gymnastics. But, when I was looking at the individual events, I got a little confused. They have an event called Clubs and one called Rope. Those aren't gymnastic events, those are murder weapons in Clue.

Vote for 'Three legs are better than one'

On Friday, we asked everybody who they'd like to see in an Olympic Three-Legged Race. Lots of answers came in, and five of them are here for you to choose from.


Vote today and you can see the winner tomorrow. Sound like fun?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

One Last Thing

I know we've been talking about water polo a lot these days, but I've got one more thing to say.

So these people are playing this sport in a pretty deep pool where they have to tread water the whole time they're in there. So when one player commits a foul, that shouldn't just be a whistle and a stop in play. That should be attempted murder. He tried to drown the dude.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Air Quality

My mom called me on the phone today to tell me that the air quality was going to be bad today between 1 and 4. First, I thought, why only between 1 and 4? If I go outside at 12 and then again at 1:30, will I be like, "Whoa! The air quality sure has deteriorated since the last time I was out here." And to be honest, I'm not even sure what air quality means. I guess it has something to do with pollution, but that seems to be the type of thing that wouldn't go away right before rush hour. Then, I thought, what a trivial thing to call me about. I mean, I could understand if it was just said in passing, but she called for the exact purpose of informing me about the air quality. Only a true air quality enthusiast would be excited by that news, and he would probably have known it anyway.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Chapter 31: Johnny's Decision

The talking fox now finished telling his story to the two brothers.

"When I woke up, I realized I could speak. Then, I ran into you two. But enough about me. What are you guys up to?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, we are on our way to capture a criminal," Mike said proudly. "He's a bank robber, you know."

"That's cool," said the fox. "Can I help?"

"Sure! Let's-"

"Wait a second," Johnny interrupted. "Mike, we don't know who or even where this guy is, and we don't have access to crime scenes or anything. We don't have a plan!"

"But, we have to do something!" Mike looked at Johnny imploringly.

Johnny frowned. He was silent for a few moments, trying to decide what to do. Finally, he spoke. "Fine...let's train then. I said we should wait til the morning. It's morning. Let's try to harness our powers."

"Alright! BALL OF FIRE!!" Mike yelled, as he pointed a hand at Johnny.

"Dude! 1. We know you can't do that. 2. We can't show off our powers in public. 3. STOP TRYING TO SHOOT A BALL OF FIRE AT ME!"

"Hmm...Where can we go to practice? We can't do it in our apartment. It's too small and we might destroy it before we can harness our powers."

"I might be of some assistance in this matter," the fox said mysteriously. So, mysteriously in fact, that it we will have to wait until the next chapter to find out what he means.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Three legs are better than one

Last week, we asked you all to come up with new events for the Summer Olympics. You didn't disappoint, and after the votes were all counted, Luca wins for nominating the three-legged race.

But that got us thinking. Who would we want to see compete in the three-legged race? Who would make up the Redeem the Dream Team for three-legged races in 2012? So that sounded as good a question as any for this week's Game Time:

Who would you like to see compete in an Olympic three-legged race?

We would probably go with Yao Ming and Lin Hao, that little kid he was carrying in the opening ceremonies. He only goes up to Yao's hip so he would be the perfect size for a third leg.

Who do you want to see tied together? Answer by Tuesday!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Water Polf?

The other day, Mike talked about water polo and how there is too much swimming and not enough riding involved. My big problem with water polo is that their shirts look to much like water golf shirts.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Vote for Olympic Games

On Friday, we switched away from Headliners and asked an old fashioned straight up Game Time question about the Olympics. We wanted to know what Olympic event you would add if you had such power. The answers came in, and now it's time for you to vote.


Vote quickly because the polls close by Friday morning when we reveal the winner. But unfortunately, if you win, it doesn't mean the Olympic Committee will approve your event.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Sport of King Neptune

I was thinking about this week's Game Time today, and I thought of another sport I would add. Water Polo.

I know what you are thinking, "Mike, there already is water polo." No. There is a sport they call 'water polo', but that is really more like water handball. Polo is played on horses and with mallets. Water handball is nothing like the "Sport of Kings."

So, I suggest a new water polo. A real water polo. The players ride on dolphins and use tritons to smack the ball. Now that, my friends, is water polo.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Chapter 30: The Fox's Story

Mike and Johnny tried to ignore the sarcastic remarks from the fox but were curious as to his strange ability.

"So, could you always talk?" Johnny asked.


"Good, cause I say, 'Hello' to you like every day!" Mike chimed in.

"Yes, well, I couldn't respond before. Actually, it's a pretty weird story. Wanna hear it?"

"Please," said Mike, looking interested.

"Well, last night I was hanging out in the alley, as I usually do when it rains. All of a sudden, I saw that door over there open, but no one came out."

Mike and Johnny looked at each other, remembering Mike's first application of his super speed.

"Then, I turned back and saw a pizza box sitting on the trash can. Naturally, I went to eat it. It was delicious."

"See? Someone liked it," Mike said to Johnny.

"Dude, it was toxic! Mr. Fox, I mean, Fox, did you have any ill effects after eating it?"

"Oh, yes! I got sick and then passed out."

Johnny looked at Mike as if to say, "See? It was poisoned." Then, he actually did say, "See? It was poisoned."

Friday, August 8, 2008

Olympic Games

In our last Game Time, we asked for Headlines to an article about water on Mars. Then we left it up to you to choose a winner. And choose you did. Tony was declared the winner. Oh, good job! Good job!

For those of you who don't know, the Olympics start today. Wait, this year the Olympics are in Beijing, China. So that means we should say the Olympics started today. Past tense! Anyway, since we at the Pake Shlake Band are rather fond of games, this is one of our favorite times of the year. Or every four years. Or every two years. So we thought this would be an appropriate question:

If you got to add an Olympic event, what would it be?

You know how they have synchronized swimming and synchronized diving? We think they should add synchronized parallel parking. You'd get points for how precise your turning angles are. And be sure to avoid the 3 tenth's deduction for bumping the curb!

What do you think should be added to the Olympic Games? Post your answer by Tuesday.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Steve, I am your father

You know the song "Here Comes the Hotstepper"? In it, Ini Kamoze claims, "I'm the daddy of the Mac daddy." Now we know the true identity of Steve Jobs' father. Ch-ch-chang-chang.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Vote for Headline From Space

On Friday, we started another game of Headliners, and the answers are in. Reread the article summary and then vote for your favorite below. The winner will be announced on Friday with the new game.

On Thursday, NASA scientists announced that the Phoenix lander exploring Mars had confirmed the existence of water on the planet. This was done by analyzing an icy soil sample from the planet’s surface and then heating it. The discovery is a major breakthrough, creating more speculation about the possibility of life on Mars.


Barack the vote.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Heavy Sleeper

I consider myself a heavy sleeper. But I'm trying to lose weight.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Chapter 29: The Fox's Name

"Excuse me, Mr. Fox, so, you can speak?" Mike asked.

The fox looked curiously up at Mike.

"No need to be so formal."

"Oh, thanks. I'm Mike, and this is my brother Johnny."

"Nice to meet you. I am Lucius."

"No way! Like the guy in the Batman movies! That's really your name?" Mike replied.

"Haha, no, that's just a joke. I saw that movie last night and I thought it would be funny."

"Hmm," Mike said. "So, what is your name?"

The fox looked around. "I don't have one, I guess. No one's ever asked me before."

"Well, we will call you 'the fox' for now, until you think of a name you like."

"Oh, wow, 'the fox' that's so clever! Never would have thought of that one..." said the fox.

Johnny frowned. "Maybe we should just call you 'the jerk.'"

Friday, August 1, 2008

Headline from Space

So last week, we played a game of Headliners about Facebook Scrabble and Scrabulous. We let you the readers vote, and you the readers have spoken. So congratulations to Meg for her Scrabble Squabble Squibble or whatever.

And now on to this week. We're going to be playing another round of Headliners, but we're going to ask that the answers are in a day early. We want to have all your answers in by Tuesday so that we can post the poll on Wednesday so that you can vote on Wednesday or Thursday so that we can have a winner on Friday so that we can write long sentences today.

Anyway, here's the story:

On Thursday, NASA scientists announced that the Phoenix lander exploring Mars had confirmed the existence of water on the planet. This was done by analyzing an icy soil sample from the planet's surface and then heating it. The discovery is a major breakthrough, creating more speculation about the possibility of life on Mars.

And here's our headline:
Scientists Find Ice on Mars, Now Searching for Tequila and Limes

Post your headline in the comments, and do it before Tuesday if you please.