Bests and Worsts

Last week, we played a little game called Headliners. Ever heard of it? It's a PSB Original game of course. This time, it was all about Oathbama, and after tallying the votes, it looks like Tony won with his headline: "Obama bumbles oath; Bush honored by tribute". We would have preferred bumblebees, but that's just us.

With the Super Bowl coming up this Sunday, we at the Pake Shlake Band thought it would be a good time to bring out another PSB Original game. It's still in the development stage, but right now the game's called Bests and Worsts. Here's how you play. We give you a category like "Worst Nickname for a Professional Football Team" and then your job is to come up with a good answer, like The Philadelphia Phumbles. Easy, right? Ok, let's play.

Worst Nickname for a Professional Football Team.

Our answer is the Philadelphia Phumbles. Easy, right? Your turn. And we are sure you can do better than ours. So, do it!

(Oh and by the way, we are just gonna pick the winner for a while instead of going with the poll because the election's over. Voting is passé.)

Random Snippets of Conversation

A few days ago, Mike talked about overhearing a snippet of conversation. So, we at the Pake Shlake Band have decided to amuse you with some more random snippets of conversation. Sometimes we will give you the origin, other times we won't. Some will be real, others ... not so real. But the important thing is, it's all for your enjoyment. So, enjoy!

Random Snippets of Conversation (For Your Enjoyment)

• "Give 'im the twister punch!!"


• "He was the rudest, lewdest, crudest nudist Buddhist there ever was."


• "Let's make a bet: How many people do you think will be in cat suits by the end of the week?"


• "When the light is off, they stink."


• "We would have preferred bumblebees, but that's just us."

Vote for Two Oaths for the Price of One

On Friday, we started another round of the PSB Original game Headliners. The article was about President Obama and the oath bumbling, and to refresh your memories, here it is again:

Barack Obama was named the 44th President of the United States on Tuesday in front of over 1.8 million supporters. At 12:06 PM, Obama began to be sweared in on the steps of the Capitol. Chief Justice John Roberts incorrectly read the oath of office, causing an awkward moment as Obama repeated the mistake. The following day, the two restated the oath in the White House correctly, but this time President Obama did not put his hand on a Bible.

It's time to vote, so pick which should be the headline to that news article.

[poll=28]

Vote. It's patriotic.

Letzte Worte

I saw this somewhere. It said

Einstein's last words were in German. Because the attending nurse did not understand German, his last words will never be known.

False. Einstein's last words might have been in German, but that doesn't mean they'll never be known. What about time machines? Heck, it's Einstein we're talking about, I bet he planned this whole thing so that somebody would make a time machine, travel back in time to when Old Alby was about to die, hear his last words, and translate them for us.

Then the dude would find out that Einstein's last words were, "You dummy, use your future technology to save my life too while you're at it." In German of course.

An Overheard Konversation

I was walking down the street the other day, and I overheard a conversation that went something like this:

"Hey, wanna get some donuts at the Krispy Kreme?"
"Sure! Aw, wait, look! The light's not on!"
"What does that mean?"
"The donuts are only warm and delicious when the light's on. When the light is off, they stink."

A kommon enough konversation for Krispy Kreme Konnoisseurs, but, imagine if you didn't know about the Hot Light? And as these two people pass by, all you hear is someone say, "When the light is off, they stink." What a strange conversation those two must be having!

The Oath

Super Heroes Hiatus

Hello, everyone. Did you notice that we didn't have a Super Heroes story last week?

Well we've been thinking: the story was on Chapter 52, that means 52 weeks, which is a year, by our calendar. So, we think it's high time to give the Story Time a little Vacation Time, since no one should work a year straight without a little time off. Not even fictional characters. (Wait, are we fictional?) No, but we are playing fictional characters in the story. (Oh.)

To fill the void, we will be taking the opportunity to try out some new sections, so please give us your feedback, because we like nothing more than hearing electric guitars with the amps too loud. Wait, no, not that type of feedback. Give us your thoughts.

If you like what we are doing, tell us. If you don't, dude, what's your problem? Give us a break, we're trying really hard here. (Well, not that hard.) Anyway, the point is, we are trying out some different stuff, so see if you like it. And don't worry, our friendly heroes with odd powers will be back soon enough.

Two Oaths for the Price of One

Last week, we asked everybody about to-be-President-now-already-is-President Obama's cabinet. You told us who you wanted in, then you voted, and Emily wins by suggesting that wanted-to-be-President-now-is-not-President John McCain should be the Secretary of Veterans Affairs. Congrats Emily, but really, congrats McCain!

This week, formerly-to-be-President-now-already-is-President-but-at-the-time-it-is-unclear-what-word-to-describe Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. 44th President, yes, but probably 1st formerly-to-be-President-now-already-is-President-but-at-the-time-it-is-unclear-what-word-to-describe. Anyway, because of this momentous occasion, we've decided to play another round of the PSB Original Game, Headliners.

Here's the article summary, you're job will be to come up with a headline:
Barack Obama was named the 44th President of the United States on Tuesday in front of over 1.8 million supporters. At 12:06 PM, Obama began to be sweared in on the steps of the Capitol. Chief Justice John Roberts incorrectly read the oath of office, causing an awkward moment as Obama repeated the mistake. The following day, the two restated the oath in the White House correctly, but this time President Obama did not put his hand on a Bible.

Here's our headline:
Obama Brings Change: Rewords Presidential Oath

What's yours?

Vote for Cabinet Members

Last week, we asked everyone about the new President's cabinet. (And not his liquor cabinet.) We said we probably weren't going to have a vote, but come on, when it comes to anything presidential, we have to vote. Just like in real life. We voted for the President and Vice President. Then we voted for Rahm Emanuel and Hillary Clinton. Now we get to vote once again:

[poll=27]

You can only vote once, so make your decision wisely. And timely. Polls close tomorrow in the AM.

Long weekend

Hello all. Maybe you've noticed that we haven't posted anything here recently. Maybe you haven't. Maybe you're all a bunch of ungrateful bums.

If you did notice, you may be wondering, "Why haven't the Pake Shlake Band posted anything here recently." You may not be. You may be thinking, "I hope they don't call me an ungrateful bum. I don't know if my ego can take it."

Well regardless of what you've noticed or haven't noticed, wondered or not wondered, we at the Pake Shlake Band have been taking a little vacation time without taking the vacation time if you know what we're saying. You don't know what we're saying? Let us spell it out for you: VACATION!!! NO VACATION!!! WOO-HOO!!!

Did that help? How's this: Saturday = Weekend. Sunday = Also weekend. Monday = M.L.K. Hol.i.day. Tuesday = Inauguration Day, Outofwork Day.

Yes we took the Presidential Inauguration as a day off. We live in DC. How could you expect us to get to work with all of the traffic? What's that? You say we don't need to drive anywhere to post articles on this here website? Oh yeah? What about web traffic? What about setting records for most consecutive sentences that end in a question mark? Huh?

Anyway, the moral of the story is if we don't post, you shouldn't go to work. Happy Holidays.

Cabinet Members

Last Friday, we asked for Superman's favorite song. You gave your answers, and after tallying the votes, the winner is...us! Oh, yeah! Good work, Pake Shlake Band, you guys are great! Aw, shucks, thanks! Secretly, we think we won because "White Wedding" was the best overall song, not necessarily the best song as it pertains to Superman. But, that's just us.

For those of you who don't know, the Presidential Inauguration is this coming Tuesday. And to celebrate our great democracy, and the fact that people in DC get a nice long weekend, we have this question for you:

Who should President Obama put in his cabinet?

We say he should have a bottle of 12 year old scotch. (No, not his liquor cabinet. His cabinet. You know, like Secretary of State or Attorney General?) Oh, yes. We say he should put in Dr. Teeth as Surgeon General. He can talk about the health benefits of boogieing down to the psychotherapeutic musicology of the Electric Mayhem. (Um, you know Surgeon General isn't really a cabinet position, right?) It is now.

Who do you think Obama should appoint? Put your answers in the comments. And, if there are enough answers (not likely) we may just pick some good ones instead of voting this week. But, you never know.

Vote for Super Songs

Last week, Johnny talked about Clark Kent, Billy Idol, and Billy Idol's little sister. Then we started thinking, 'what is Superman's favorite song?' Then we stopped thinking and let you figure it out. You gave us your answers, now vote for the best:

[poll=26]

Vote faster than a speeding bullet. Or I guess at average speed.

Raindrops

You know that song, "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" by BJ Thomas? Hey, BJ! Get an umbrella!

Graffìt Internaçional

Anyone else think the movie "American Graffiti" would have been a bigger success if they had just called it "Graffiti"? I mean, why are you gonna leave people out?

"You're not cool enough for our graffiti. European Graffiti is that way. You probably would put accents all over your words and things. And you'd have too many vowels."

That's just not very nice. Include everyone and next time your movie will be a blockbuster.

Chapter 52: To Home

The two brothers had just tried to freeze their friend the fox using their secret phrase. Unfortunately, it did not work.

"Aw, man!" Mike said. "Do you think we need time to recharge our powers?"

"Maybe," Johnny said. "But, how long do we wait? You think the time keeps resetting every time we try?"

"Dude, I have no idea. We just found out about this power 20 seconds ago."

"True. So what do we do?"

"Well, I say, we go home, make some costumes-"

"And I get a cape," Johnny added.

"Yes, fine. And then we go to the bank."

"Alright! We are gonna make some moola!!!"

"No, not to rob it. I need cash. Unless you wanna pay for lunch?"

Johnny thought for a moment. "Can't you just use a credit card?"

Mike ignored Johnny, ran off the side of the building and then started to walk home at a normal pace. Johnny picked up the fox, flew down, caught up with Mike, and the three began their return home, soon to embark on a great adventure. Well, first to the bank, then lunch, then a great adventure.

Super Songs

In our last Game Time, we asked for the origins of the phrase "ring in the New Year." After some counting, it turns out that there was a big bell that everyone had to ring in order for the New's Year fairy to come. Surprising, indeed.

Now, onto this week's question. Johnny mentioned that Clark Kent probably likes dancing around to the song "White Wedding" by Billy Idol. That made us think of this question:

What is Superman/Clark Kent's favorite song?

Oh, shoot. Did we just give away Superman's secret identity? We are in big trouble. Anyway, post your answers in the comments.

Vote for Ringing in the New Year

On Friday, (the day after New Year's), we asked you how many commas, we could put, in this open,ing, sentence?,? We did? No. We didn't.

We asked you why people say "ring in the New Year" instead of something else. Where did that phrase come from?

The answers are in. And now it's time to vote.

[poll=25]

R,emem,ber, vote, fast, be,cau,se, poll close, domani.

Dip, Baby, Dip

I was out walking today, just for like 15 minutes, but the whole time I had the song "Tootsie Roll" stuck in my head. No, it's not about lollipops. It's a rap song. Yeah, that one. Anyway, it was kind of annoying, kind of enjoyable. But, I had to resist the strong temptation to shout to someone as they passed me, "I feel a whoop coming up! A whoop coming up! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!" I managed. Barely.

Hey Little Sister

I can just picture Clark Kent dancing along to Billy Idol's "White Wedding". He's all pointing to himself, singing "Who's your Superman?" and no one else gets why he likes it so much. Then again, no one else really cares about Clarky.



I bet he loves it.

Chapter 51: The Experiment

The two brothers had just frozen their friend the fox for a few seconds. This was their first new power in a while, and they wanted to know how it worked.

"Interesting," Mike said. "Do you think we freeze time, or does time keep moving and we just freeze the person?"

"Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'. Into the future..." Johnny replied.

"Meaning...?" Mike asked, as he had not yet mastered interpreting Johnny's song lyrics.

"It means that freezing time is impossible. So we must just be freezing the people around us."

"Oh, so only the people who hear our, shall we say, 'secret phrase,' get frozen?" Mike asked, using air quotes.

"Dude, it is a secret phrase. You don't have to put it in quotes. But, I'm not sure how it works yet. We have to figure it all out. First, we have to know exactly how long it lasts. It seemed like it was about five or ten seconds last time. But, to know for sure, we're gonna have to experiment." The two turned to the fox.

"Aw, man!" the fox said.

"Alright, so this is what you have to," Johnny explained. "Say 'now' when you are no longer frozen. We'll time it."

"Oh, fine."

"Okay, Mike, ready? One. Two. Three!"

"Stenchman!" the two brothers said in unison.

"Now!" the fox replied immediately.

"Hmm," the two brothers said in unison.

Ringing in the New Year

One week ago today was Boxing Day, and for the Game Time we asked what we should call December 27th. After tallying the votes, Tony won for his nomination of "French Hen Day" in honor of the third day of Christmas. Unfortunately, after doing some calculation, it turns out that the first day of Christmas is not Christmas day, but actually the first day AFTER Christmas, which means December 27th is in reality the second day of Christmas. And why would you name the second day of Christmas in honor of the third day of Christmas? That's confusing as heck. So, unfortunately, we have decided to change the winner to...us! Yes, folks, that's right, from henceforth, December 27th will be known as Pake Shlake Band Day! Hooray!

Speaking of Hoorays, we are now in 2009! Hooray! Did you ring in the New Year in style? And, speaking of ringing in the New Year, let's go onto this week's game.

What is the origin of the phrase "ring in the New Year"?

Our guess is that it was originally "bring in the New Year," but some people misheard, and thought it was ring instead of bring. What do you think the origin is? Post your comments, or as the saying may eventually go, ost your omments.

Vote for Boxing Day

We asked what we should call the day after Boxing Day. Vote for your favorite!

[poll=24]

Results will be revealed tomorrow! Hooray!