Friday, July 31, 2009


G to the izzame T to the izzime.

When we last left our Game Time, we were playing the PSB Original Game, Headliners. In particular, we asked you to give us a headline about the historic moon landing. Let's review, shall we?

Big A said "Man Walks on Moon: Young Michael Jackson Gets an Idea." We give props for trying to tie in previous games, but we do not give him the win.

Luca headline "Um...Now What?" brought up an interesting point: Why did we go to the moon in the first place? Just because it's cool? Well, i guess it was worth the billions of dollars.

But the winner: Tony for his response of "TAKE THAT COMMYS!" Yes, what better to celebrate an American achievement than sticking it to the Soviets. Indeed, "TAKE THAT COMMYS!" should be a headline for almost anything. Send a message to the godless Communists. Good work, Tony!

A few months ago, about ten months ago in fact, we played a game where we gave you a punchline, and you had to think of the set-up line. We thought this week we would play that game again. Here's the punchline, for which you have to think of the question that leads up to it:

Because Dracula can't flip pancakes!

So, all you have to do is give us a question to which that is the answer. Understand? Here's how ours goes:

Why is a spatula better than Dracula?
Because Dracula can't flip pancakes!

Now, it's your turn. Good luck!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Don't Work With Your Food

I was thinking about having edible paper and using something like chocolate to write with. Then I realized that was a pretty bad idea. Oh, and Willy Wonka's crazy.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


I like using the word "psychological" in the right context. I will give you an example.


Someone comes up to me and tells me that he got mad at his roommate for playing music too loud, so when the roommate left, he threw his iPod out the window and burned all of his roommate's CD's.

Me: Wow, that's psychological.
Dude: You mean like now I'm in his head and he'll think twice before blaring his music?
Me: No, I mean you're a psycho, and you did the logical thing. For a psycho.
Me: Would you like me to give you my iPod so you can destroy it?

I think I use expressions improperly.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


I wonder what would happen if you left a can of mixed nuts outside in the forest. I bet there'd be one confused squirrel that would think he won the lottery. But then he'd realize that he didn't buy a ticket this week, and even if he had, there's no way the woodland gaming committee would know where to find him because he'd just moved to a new tree. And then he'd get confused and think that he had died and gone to squirrel heaven, but that wouldn't make sense because where is Uncle Wilbur? And then another, less-thoughtful squirrel would come by and eat the nuts.

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Eye of a Needle

You know how when little kids make a promise, sometimes they say, "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye." I was always a little put off by the sticking needles in eye part. I mean, isn't the needle a bit superfluous after death?

Friday, July 24, 2009

Moon Walk

Monday, you can fall apart. Tuesday, Wednesday, break my heart. Thursday doesn't even start. It's Friday, I'm in love. With Game Time!

Howdy, folks, and welcome to another edition of Game Time. Before we jump into this week's game, let's reminisce about last week. We played the PSB Original Game, Bests and Worsts, where we asked for the best new show for Animal Planet. We thought all the answers were particularly good this week, so we will shout out a top three.

Coming in at third is Mamma Meg, for her series on ruling animals throughout history, "Reigning Cats and Dogs." Perhaps the show will have an episode or two dedicated to Presidential pooches.

Big A is our runner-up. His show, "Kudos to Kudus" is sure to be a success among the antelope lovers out there.

Finally, the winner is Tony, for his response, "When Pigs Fly," a show about training pigs to become aviators. If that is a success, maybe there will be a spin-off called "Hog Heaven," which follows around the porcine pilots on their flight routes.

Well, done, everyone. That was a fun game, wasn't it! Now, onto this week. For those of you who don't know, Monday was the 40th anniversary of our lunar landing, when man first walked on the moon, and 40 years ago today the Apollo 11 crew returned to Earth, splashing down in the Pacific Ocean. To commemorate these events, we will play the PSB Original Game, Headliners.

The Apollo 11 mission blasted off on July 16th, 1969, with the goal of becoming the first manned-mission to land on the moon. On July 20th, 1969 at 8:17 PM GMT, the "Eagle," as the lunar module was called, landed in the Sea of Tranquility on the moon's surface. Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, uttering the words, "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Buzz Aldrin soon followed on the moon's surface. While there, the two collected rock specimens, took photographs, and left an American flag. A third astronaut, Michael Collins, remained in orbit. An estimated 500 million people watched the event on television.

Your job? Write a headline to this article. But, to spice it up, pretend that this article was going to run in 1969. Here is ours:

Man Walks on Moon; World Disappointed to Find It's Not Made of Cheese.

Your turn. Post your headline commemorating this great event in human history. If it really did happen and isn't just one giant conspiracy.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Wet Sock

I was walking in the rain this morning and my socks got wet, and so I thought to myself, "There is nothing more uncomfortable than getting your socks wet." I didn't have to be anywhere for an hour, so I decided to take off the uncomfortable wet socks to let them dry for a while.

Well, the hour passed. It was then that I realized there is something more uncomfortable than getting your socks wet: Putting the same wet socks back on.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


When I play "Red Light, Green Light" I always include a yellow light for more lifelike accuracy.

Maybe that's why no one plays with me.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Red Red Whine

I was listening to "Red Red Wine" by UB-40 on the radio today, and they cut out the reggae rap section! You know, the "Red red wine you make me feel so fine, You keep me rocking all of the time" part! I was infuriated! That's the best part of the song! That's like playing Paul McCartney's "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey" and cutting out the Admiral Halsey part. Or playing "Are You Lonesome Tonight" and cutting out Elvis' long drawn-out metaphor about the world being a stage. Okay, so it's not really like the second one. But it is like the first one. And it is an outrage.

Speaking of outrages, did you know that the song "Red Red Wine" was originally by Neil Diamond? That sort of takes away the coolness factor of that song, huh? What's that? Who's Neil Diamond? He's the guy who sings "Sweet Caroline."

Monday, July 20, 2009

One Small Flight

40 years ago, we sent a man to the moon. Then we realized Bermuda had nicer weather and was much closer.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Name That Show

Did we forget to post a Game Time on Friday? Nope!

Hello again, and welcome to another Friday edition of Game Time. In our last edition, we played the PSB Original Game, Bests and Worsts, and we asked for the worst first dance for a newly married couple. Let's look over the answers.

DJ gave two answers, "If You Wanna Be Happy," the song that advises you to marry an ugly woman, and "Evil Woman" which is self-explanatory. Both good answers, but unfortunately he is disqualified for posting two answers in the same comment. Sorry, DJ, if you wanna play more than once do it the old-fashioned way, make up fake names. For example, if you had posted as Jimmy Soul, you might have had a better chance of winning. Or rather, Jimmy Soul would have had a better chance of winning. Next!

Max suggested "Gold Digger" by Kanye West. He is also disqualified, since he didn't actually give the title of the song he just implied it. Yer out!

Tony submitted "Sugar Shack", using the following argument. We are looking for the worst song for a specific occasion. "Sugar Shack" is the worst song ever. Therefore, it must be the worst song to play at a wedding. Interesting syllogism, but Tony does not win. So who does?

Luca! His answer was "Lola" by the Kinks, and since Luca and Lola have the same number of letters, we thought it was destiny. Well done!

Now, what should we play this week? Ooh, how about another round of Bests and Worsts? Great! Earlier in the week, Mike talked about his new Animal Planet show, "Focus on the Locusts" about cicadas. That spurred us to this game:

Best new show for Animal Planet.

After some thought, we decided we would have a show called "King of the Forest." We don't know what it would be about really, since lions - while called kings of the forest - actually live on the African savanna and not in the forest. Maybe the show would be about deer.

Anyway, your turn. Try to come up with a better show. This time it shouldn't be too hard. And don't forget to post it in the comments, unless you are afraid of Animal Planet ripping you off and not giving you any of the proceeds.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Bastolen Day

Yesterday was Bastille Day, and I overheard two people talking about it. To me, the only national holidays that Americans should care about are the American ones, like New Year's and Cinco de Mayo.

And after looking into it, I found out that the Frenchards don't even call it Bastille Day, they call it the Fourteenth of July. Sound familiar? Soon they're gonna start calling Christmas "Christeenthmas' over in France.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Focus on the Locusts

If I worked for the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet or one of those cable channels that does lots of programming about the animal kingdom, I would create a show where we follow around cicadas all day. And I would call the show, "Focus on the Locusts."

Of course, the show wouldn't last more than two weeks, because if you focus on locusts too long you realize that they are just gross.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Wedding Bell Blues

Did we forget to post a Game Time on Friday? Oops!

Allow us to explain. For those of you who don't know, we at the Pake Shlake Band enjoy holidays, and we certainly enjoy not working on holidays. And 10 days ago there was a holiday, and we accidentally posted on it. Can you believe it? The Pake Shlake Band working when they don't have to? Outrageous, we know. So, to avenge the mistake, we decided to take the following Friday off instead, which was this past Friday. Vengeance! And so, we are posting our Game Time today. Don't like it? Tough luck!

Last Friday (or technically, two Fridays ago), we asked you to make up a little-known fact about the American Revolution. Booya made an allusion to the Boston Tea Party, Luca to Twinkies, and Tony to The Swamp Fox. But, the winner is Lorenzo, for calling the Revolutionary War by its original name, "The war when we hid in the forest and shot at them when they weren’t expecting it." Well done, Lorenzo.

Now, for this week's game. We have chosen to play the PSB Original Game, Bests and Worsts. Why? Well, here's why: The Pake Shlake Band was recently invited to perform at a wedding. (No, you weren't.) No, we weren't. But we could have been. And if we had been asked to perform, we probably would have had to play the first dance for the bride and groom. And that made us think of this question.

Worst first dance at a wedding.

We gave it a lot of thought, well, a little bit of thought, and came up with Sir Mixalot's Baby Got Back. Think you know of a worse song? Post it in the comments.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Good Thing I Ain't

If I were God, I'd make it snow in July just to freak everybody out.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I'm So Tired

Sometimes when people are really tired and haven't had much sleep they get bags under their eyes. Today, I have steamer trunks.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Roll, Do Not Walk to the Nearest Exit

You know how at movie theaters, they tell you, "In case of emergency, walk do not run to the nearest exit"?

Well, what if there's a fire? Then you're supposed to stop, drop, and roll. So should you roll to the nearest exit or should you stop, drop, roll, get up and walk out?

Either way, it would make a great party dance.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Ringing in My Ears

You know how after listening to loud music you sometimes here ringing in your ears? Some people say that the tone that you hear ringing is dying, and you will never be able to hear that sound again. I went to a concert the other day and when I got home I had ringing my ears. I was kinda glad that I won't have to hear that sound again. The band was pretty bad.

Friday, July 3, 2009

American History

It's Friday in Shlakeland, and that can only mean one thing: Game Time!

Last week, we played the PSB Original Game Little-Known Facts, where you the reader get to make up things as pass it off as truth - just like Wikipedia! The topic of choice was Michael Jackson. Hey, did you know Michael Jackson didn't get the nickname "The King of Pop" until after he started doing Pepsi commercials? Yeah, neither did we. Anyway, here were some of the good answers we got.

Joey Bag of Donuts gave us this fact: "The Jackson Five are offering a 20 percent discount on their reunion!" Too soon? Probably.

Then, Tony and Lorenzo seemed to have an in tandem response, where they claimed that two MJ hits, "Ben" and "Rock With You" were both inspired by the singer's sister Janet's pet rock, which coincidentally was named Ben.

But the winner this week is DJ for his answer, "Michael Jackson’s hit song 'Bad' was originally titled 'Good.'" We didn't know that! I guess that's why they call the game Little-Known Facts. Onward to this week's game!

For those of you who don't know, this weekend Americans celebrate our Independence Day, honoring the day when we declared our unalienable rights of life, liberty, and grilled hot dogs. To celebrate, we are playing another round of the PSB Original Game, Little-Known Facts, where you the reader get to make up things as pass it off as truth - just like Wikipedia! Ever heard of it? See what you can come up with for this topic.

Come up with a little-known fact about the American Revolution.

It's like history class, but you get to make it up! Here is our fact:

Benedict Arnold's birth name was Arnold Benedict, but halfway through elementary school he changed it.

See? It's easy as pie. Apple pie. American as apple pie. So, play! It's your patriotic duty! And who knows, maybe in 100 years children in school will be learning the "facts" that you make up today.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Promotional Offer

I moved recently and so I had to cancel my DirecTV subscription. When I woke up this morning I saw that I had gotten a promotional email from them saying if I come back they will give me free movie channels. But, then I noticed the subject of the email was "We miss you" and it was sent at 2:20 AM. That's not a promotion, that's a booty call.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Thyme After Time

I don't know how many of you know this, but I constantly keep sprigs of thyme with me wherever I go. That way, when people are planning stuff, and they say things like, "We don't have enough time for that," I can jump in and say, "Will this help?"