Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Oh yeah, and I'd paint him silver. I don't think I'd make a very good parent.
Monday, April 28, 2008
"Alright, let's recap," Mike said. "We eat the wishing pizza-"
Johnny rolled his eyes.
Mike continued. "We eat the wishing pizza-"
Mike rolled his eyes, then continued, "We nearly die, and then we each have magical powers. What does it all mean?"
"Humming I see? What, have you forgotten the words? Hahahaha!" Mike laughed.
"Why you act dumb like 'uhhh, duh'?"
"Pshaw. Anyway, you have any idea what this means?"
Johnny shrugged. "I have no answers, but I do have more questions."
"Oooh, like a Jeopardy contestant!"
"Quite. First off, what do we do with the rest of the pizza?"
The two looked at each other, and then at the pizza, and then back at each other. And then back at the pizza. And then back to each other.
Mike was the first to speak. "You wanna split it?"
"Why you act dumb like 'uhhh, duh?'"
Friday, April 25, 2008
Last week, we asked you all what you thought IRS stood for. We're going to give the prize to Sid for going with Irwin R Shyster. We didn't know who he was but figured there was more to it. And with a little research, we found out that old IRS was a wrestler whose tagline was "You can pay me now, or you *will* pay me later. Who knew? Sid.
Anyway, in honor of Earth Day this week (and Anzac Day), we're gonna ask you to write a poem to Earth, and the winner will receive, you know, the usual honorary paragraph where we cite articles from Wikipedia and talk too much. Here's our poem:
Oh Mother Earth, Oh Gaia,
You brought us Earth, Wind, and Fire.
So let's groove tonight,
Share the spice of life.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
But if you've ever been to the beach, you'd know that you can't hit rock bottom there. You dig and dig and dig, and all you get is water and sand in your bathing suit. So I think it should be appropriate to interchange 'rock bottom' with 'wet bottom' for those beach-dwellers.
But then again, in a different context 'wet bottom' is not appropriate.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Some of you may have noticed that we at the Pake Shlake Band usually post something on this here site once a day (work day that is, none of that weekend nonsense) at around 9 in the AM. Today, we didn't. But that's not exactly true. We just posted it in a different timezone. You see, this post that you're currently reading first went up at 9:00am in Los Angeles and San Francisco. So to our Mexican readers, Hola! And Gracias!
What's that? Los Angeles and San Francisco are US cities? And they are really pronounced Los Angeles and San Francisco, not Los Angeles and San Francisco? And typing the same words twice in a row does not express American and Hispanic pronunciations very clearly? Hmm.
Monday, April 21, 2008
"Alright," Mike said. "Let's call it a wishing pizza then."
"Let's not," Johnny replied.
"A wishing pizza, " Mike said, totally ignoring Johnny's comments. "If it is, then shouldn't I be able to change hats whenever I want? That was something I had suggested before."
"Well, do it then!"
"It's not as easy as reciting lyrics, Johnny. You can't just think about a fedora on your head and have it appear."
At that moment, Johnny's eyes widened, and Mike felt something on his head. He looked up to see a nice hat resting on his brow.
"Or maybe you can." Johnny said.
"Cooooooool. A Borsalino at that," Mike said, taking off the hat to examine it.
"You know what this means?"
"I can show off my great sense of style whenever I want!"
"I think the correct answer there was, 'No, Johnny, I don't know what this means.'"
Friday, April 18, 2008
Well, Tax Day was earlier this week, and we decided to honor it with this question.
What do you think IRS really stands for?
The government will tell you "Internal Revenue Service", but we know better than to trust the government. We think it stands for "I Really Stink." Think you can do better? (It wouldn't be hard.) Leave your answer in the comments.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
But then I remember that it was money they stole from me in the first place, and I am less happy. But still kind of happy since they gave it back. It's kind of like the school bully buying you a cupcake with the money he stole from you during recess. You're still kind of mad, but who doesn't love a cupcake?
Monday, April 14, 2008
After a brief encounter with the narrator, the two brothers went back to assessing their situation.
"I wonder why you keep reciting lyrics from songs," Mike wondered.
"Maybe it was the pizza," Johnny suggested.
"The pizza? What does that even mean?"
"I know it sounds strange, but what if it was the pizza that gave us these powers."
"The ones the narrator alluded to."
"Which are...?" Mike asked.
"Well, I seem to know all the words to every song."
"Oooooh. That's what you wished for! Maybe its a wishing pizza," Mike said.
Johnny frowned. "1 - What does that mean, a wishing pizza? 2 - I didn't wish for this power; I kind of just threw out a suggestion so you'd get off my back. 3 - Wishing pizzas don't make people sick before they get their wish."
"Well, maybe it's a 'make you sick then actualize what you had suggested previously pizza'."
Johnny continued to frown. "That's too long of a name for a pizza."
Mike shrugged, as he was inclined to agree.
Friday, April 11, 2008
This week, Mike talked about how the StairMaster reminded him of Hell. We thought we would expound on this idea, thanks in part to Tony.
What machine in the gym is most Hell-like?
You know what we think of the aforementioned StairMaster. Let us know your most hated workout machine. If we like your answer, we'll shout it out next time. And who doesn't like a shout-out?
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
When we last left our heroes, they were bickering about song lyrics, as Johnny seemed compelled to throw out lines from songs in conversation ever since he awoke after eating the Super Hero Pizza that had made him faint a few hours earlier. When we last left our narrator, he was reading way too long sentences.
"You can say that again," Mike muttered.
Hey, wait a second. You're not supposed to hear me. I'm the narrator.
"Well, we can," Johnny replied. "So your 'Spoiler Alert' from last week kinda gave away that something was up."
"Actually, I'm still pretty confused. Maybe we should just go on with our lives as if we didn't hear him," Mike suggested.
And Mike's suggestion was a good one. Unfortunately, it would have to wait for another chapter.
Friday, April 4, 2008
This past Tuesday was April Fools' Day, so in honor of that holiday of all holidays, we've posed this question:
What was the best April Fools' Day prank you've ever pranked?
For us, it would have to be that time we wrote a post saying everyone should check back for more, and then we didn't post anything else. Oh wait, that was the worst April Fools' Day prank. Ever.
What about you? Post in the comments because apparently, we just give these awards away.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Anyway, I lost my voice and I have a sore throat, and it's been bothering me. So I decided I would be constructive in my misery by putting my creative hat on (see upper left corner of page) and writing a poem. Here goes:
I have a sore throat
I sound like a goat
A goat with a sore throat
What do you think?
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
And so to apologize, I am telling you that there is no reason for you to come back to this site today.
I don't think it's a good idea to flat out tell your readers not to come back to your site either.