Friday, November 28, 2008


Last Game Time, we looked for an answer to the classic dilemma, How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? After doing some counting, it turns out that wise old Max knew the answer: There is no Tootsie Roll center. Looks like that will save us a quarter. Well, two quarters, since were aren't gonna share a lollipop. That's gross. But, Mike doesn't really like Tootsie Rolls, so it will save Johnny a quarter. But, now that we know it's a myth, Mike may now buy a Tootsie Pop. so, Max saved one of us a quarter and cost the other one of us a quarter. Looks like we break even on the deal. Thanks for nothing, Max!

Now, on to this week's game. For those of you who didn't know, yesterday was Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a compound word, combining the word "thanks" and the word "giving". This is an appropriate name since Thanksgiving is a day for giving thanks. We wondered what other words can be combined to create an apt name for this holiday.

Create a compound word to describe the holiday of Thanksgiving.

We would call the fourth Thursday of November Naptaking. Your compound word? Post it in the comments. Or rather, celebrate Commentposting Day!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Vote for I've Never Made It Without Biting

For this week's Game Time, we asked the immortal question: How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootie Pop? You gave your answers, and now we get to vote for who is right. Mr. Turtle will be so happy.


Vote, I say. Vote!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Day Before

Today is Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. It seems to me that no one really wants to do any work today. It is a very ineffective day, work-wise. I mean, people go to work, but no work gets done. Everyone is kind of just hanging around, waiting out the clock until the day ends. Some people even leave early since there is nothing productive going on. So, my suggestion: Give us Wednesday off too. No reason to make us come into work when there is nothing getting done, right? That's called being efficient. Now, you might say, "But Mike, it won't solve the problem, it will just move the problem to Tuesday." That's a valid point. So I say, give us Tuesday off too. And Monday. Make it a spring break in November. That way, we don't have the problem of getting no work done at work. Now that's being efficient.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Life as a Balloon

Man, it would be awesome to be a balloon! Everyone would like you, you'd be the center of the party, you could FLY! I mean think about it, you'd be tons of fun and you could just float off wherever you wanted. It would be so cool.

Then again, people would smack you around an awful lot. And you'd hit your head on the ceiling whenever you weren't too careful. And if you happened to go outside unsupervised, you would fly away, never to be seen by your friends and family again, leaving you to suffer alone while all the life gets sucked out of you by the unforgiving atmosphere.

I guess it would only be semi-awesome to be a balloon.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Chapter 45: The Fox's Task

Mike and Johnny were in the middle of an epic battle. Johnny was on the catwalk firing tennis balls at Mike, while Mike was speeding around, trying to avoid the ones being fired and pick up the ones on the ground to throw back at Johnny. At first, Johnny was being pretty successful at hitting Mike when he tried to pick up the tennis balls. But as the battle wore on, Mike's agility got better, and he was able to avoid the shots almost every time. His throws, however, did not improve.

"Mike, you stink at throwing, man! They are going miles over my head!"

"Well, maybe it's because on American Gladiators, the target I'm supposed to hit is over your head."

Johnny stopped shooting for a second. "Okay, if that's really what you're aiming for, try to hit me now. I won't shoot."

Mike stopped running, picked up a ball, and threw it at Johnny. It went twenty feet over his head.

"See? You just stink!"

Mike frowned as was about to think of a comeback, when they heard footsteps. They both stopped cold. As the steps got closer, it began to sound like two pairs. Johnny motioned for Mike to go hide. Mike sped off instantly, and Johnny flew up to the shadows of the ceiling. Finally the identity was revealed. It was their friend the fox, looking wet, dirty, and tired, but very content.

"Hey, guys! I did it!"

"Did what?" Mike asked. "Won on Double Dare?"

"No, I made an entrance for you, " the fox replied. "And I found a really cool back entrance too, one that no one will be able to get from."

"Nice, let's go see them!" And the two heroes followed the fox, as he led them to show off his fine work.

Friday, November 21, 2008

I've Never Made It Without Biting

In honor of the recently released new James Bond film Quantum of Solace, last week's Game Time had you think of headlines about the movie. After counting up the votes, Tony wins with his headline: 007: Less is More. Less Plot; More Confusing Title. Well done. We were trying to think of a clever spy line to go there, but we couldn't.

Here's a question that has been bothering us for a while, so we thought we would make it this week's Game Time:

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Our guess is three, but we are not sure we trust Mr. Owl. Your thoughts? Post it up.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Vote for Bonding Time

We began another game of Headliners on Friday, and this one was from the Entertainment section. You gave your 007 headlines, and now it's time to pick a winner. Here's a reminder of the article.

Daniel Craig returns as James Bond in the 22nd movie based on Ian Fleming’s spy of renown. Craig follows in a long line of Bonds, including Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan. In the newest film, Quantum of Solace, James Bond seeks revenge for Vesper Lynd’s betrayal and death and must stop an alleged environmentalist from taking control of a country’s vital natural resource.


Pick your poison, so to speak.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


Did you know that "shampoo" spelled backwards is "oompahs"? Well, you are wrong. It's actually "oopmahs". Sorry, better luck next time.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Your SCTGOYF is burning

I've always thought carpets was a weird word. It sounds like it should be a pet for your car - you know car pet? Like a Vespa or something.

But no, carpets are really synthetic coverings to go over your floors. I guess "synthetic covering to go over your floor" would take to long to say though if you needed to warn somebody that their carpet was on fire. To be fair though, a frantic point and "FIRE!" would also do the job.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Chapter 44: Assault

"I have this." Johnny pulled out from behind his back a strange contraption. It looked like a clear circular shield, with a tube sticking out of the bottom of it and a ring of tennis balls around the edge of the shield.

"Whoa," Mike said, hs eyes wide in amazement. "How do you have the gun from the Assault event from American Gladiators??"

"Well, I threw an American Gladiator Party once, and Gemini gave it to me as a gift."

"WHAT?? 1. Why wasn't I invited? 2. How did you get Gemini to come? And 3. Why have you never shown this to me before??"

"I think you were out of town for some reason. It was all kind of spur of the moment. I ran into Gemini at the grocery store. Literally. He knocked me unconscious. I think that's why he gave me the assault gun. Anyway, we can use it to test your speed and agility. The balls come out at like 100 miles an hour."

Mike looked a little suspicious. "Won't it hurt if I get hit?"

"Then don't get hit," Johnny said as he hooked the assault weapon up to the overhead catwalk. "Now I'm going to shoot these tennis balls at you, and you have to try to dodge them."

"Um, I gues-OW!" Johnny had shot a ball that smack Mike right in the head. "Dude, you beaned me!"

"Hey, I told you I was gonna shoot it."

"Alright, well, next time say "Go" or something."

"Go!" Johnny said and shot three more balls right at Mike's head. This time, Mike reacted quickly, side stepping two of them and catching the third one.

"Oh, it's on now," Mike said, as he and Johnny prepared to embark on a rigorous training regimen. Not far away, their friend the fox was finishing a regimen of his own.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Bonding Time

Game Time brought the curtain down on the 2008 Presidential Campaign last week, asking you all to have the final word on the election, in poetic form. After a record turn out, Big A won with his limerick about Joe the Plumber. Hail to the Chief!

Now onto this week's game. As you may or may not know, the 146th installment of everyone's favorite spy comes out today. (Okay, we exaggerated a bit. He's not everyone's favorite spy.) The New James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, makes its American debut today, so we decided to make this week's game a Headliners in the movie's honor.

Daniel Craig returns as James Bond in the 22nd movie based on Ian Fleming's spy of renown. Craig follows in a long line of Bonds, including Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan. In the newest film, Quantum of Solace, James Bond seeks revenge for Vesper Lynd's betrayal and death and must stop an alleged environmentalist from taking control of a country's vital natural resource.

Here is our headline:
Americans investing in bonds. James Bond.

If you have a headline, post it in the comments. And don't forget to vote for the winner next week.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Vote for Presidential Poetry

After last Tuesday, we had one things on our minds. Hockey. But after that, I guess, was the election. So we asked everybody to come up with a poem about what went down in the political arena, the coliseum of. Here are those poems.


Pick your favorite and in true American fashion, vote for the silliest.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Earl

You know the word "sandwich"? It is named after the Earl of Sandwich. He was some guy back in the day who said, "Hey, you know what? This piece of meat is a lot easier to eat with your hands if you put some bread around it." And so he did. And it was tasty. And now, hundreds of years later, the Earl of Sandwich is immortalized every day when you pick up your pastrami on rye or your ham and Swiss. Yes, the Earl of Sandwich invented a delicious lunch for all of civilization. He is my hero.

So, once I finished writing this post, I realized, "Hey, I said he was my hero, like 'hero', as in the sandwich!" But then I realized I really didn't intend for the play on words to be the joke. I really just wanted to express that the Earl of Sandwich is my hero, not to trivialize his accomplishments for the sake of a pun. After that clarification, I am confident that I have saved his honor. And ruined any chance of this post being even mildly humorous.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Happy Veteran's Day

So Today is Veteran's Day. And Today I capitalize the T in Today.

Anyway, Today is Veteran's Day. Not to be confused with Veterinarian's Day, which I believe, is in July.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Chapter 43: Johnny's Surprise

Johnny and Mike were standing next to each other in the abandoned warehouse. Johnny had just inadvertently low fived Mike after he successfully navigated the obstacle course with his super speed. "Dude, that was too easy," Johnny said.

"Yeah, I know. Like easy cheesy."

"First, I meant that to be a bad thing. Secondly, I think you mean, like easy peasy."

"But I prefer cheese to peas."

Johnny thought for a second, then nodded in agreement. "Alright, I think part of the problem was it wasn't really an obstacle course. Nothing was moving or anything, so it must have felt just like walking around boxes."

"Well, to be honest, I'm not sure I've ever done that."

"But you could imagine that sensation," Johnny replied. This time it was Mike nodding in agreement. "I have an idea to make it harder, but I have to go get something. You have to wait here since I am not flying you up here again."

"Fine. I'll amuse myself with my hats," Mike said.

So, Johnny flew off, literally, while Mike amused himself with his hats. About 15 minutes later, Johnny returned. Several hats were on the floor beside Mike as he now had a beret on.

"Ho ho! Ah hope yew brought une baguette per moi," Mike said in a poor French accent.

"Hey, that's a pretty good imitation of a poor Frenchman!"

"Merci! Oooh, what you got there??"

"Well, I figured we needed to train you on how to dodge stuff coming at you fast, but shooting a gun at you would be dangerous, and we don't have a gun anyway. But, I remembered I did have this."

Mike's eyes got wide. "Whoa!"

What was it? A rubber band ball? One of those weird pizza shooter toys from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Tune in next week, when you find out what exactly Johnny had.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Presidential Poetry

Spooky Halloween stories were all the rage last week, as we asked for short stories that started with the phrase: "They told me not to go down the alley." After tallying the votes, DJ wins. What a treat! Get it? Like trick or treat? Treat? Trick? Treat?

Earlier this week, America had an election. And, we at the Pake Shlake Band have referenced the election every now and again. Well, now that it's over we wanted to give one last tribute to the 2008 Campaign:

Write a poem summing up the 2008 Presidential Election.

Here is ours:

It's us against them,
the Rep or the Dem,
The difference is clear, so just take your pick.
When all's said and done,
There can only be one:
So the socialist beat out the maverick.

Ooh, nice rhyme scheme! (Thanks.) You're welcome. Now, it's your turn. Write a poem about the election. Post it in the comments.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Vote for They told me not to go down the alley…

In honor of Halloween, we asked everyone to come up with a scaaaary story that started with "They told me not to go down the alley..." There were not very many responses, but here they are.


Pick your favorite, or the scariest, or the votiest. And then do like America did on Tuesday. (By that we mean vote).

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Day After

Well, as you all probably know, yesterday was a big night: a closely contested battle with the eyes of the world watching. And, unfortunately, our side did not come out victorious. We made it close, but just couldn't get over the hump. I guess history was not on our side. But, we can be gracious, even in defeat. So, we would like to offer our congratulations to the Ottawa Senators for their win last night over the Washington Capitals.

A Canadian team beating much for country first.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Chapter 42: The Obstacle Course

Mike and Johnny, having agreed with the narrator to move the story along, began to set up some of the flashlights around the warehouse floor. It gave the room a faint almost dungeon-like glow, as if the two were in a secret hideout, which, in fact, they were.

"OK," Johnny said as he looked around the dimly lit warehouse floor. "Let's begin our training."

"Alright! BALL OF F-"


"Sorry," Mike said. "Well, we should use some of those empty crates to set up an obstacle course for me. Super speed is useless without super change of direction."

"Alright, let's get on it then."

The two brothers set up the crates around the warehouse floor, forming a narrow path that Mike would have to navigate through. Mike then went to the beginning of the maze.

Johnny put his arm in the air. "On your mark. Get set. Go!" Mike was gone and back in an instant. Standing next to Johnny, Mike put his hand out before Johnny even finished lowering his hand.

"Low Five!" Mike said.