Monday, November 30, 2009


Personally, I don't think anybody calls him a space cowboy.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Give Thanks for Napkins

Do you think at the first Thanksgiving they had paper napkins with turkeys on them?

I'm thinking, yes.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Scrooby Snacks

Thanksgiving is only a few days away, so what better time for some good old pilgrim history? No better time, that's when.

You all basically know the story - Pilgrims (i.e. people with silly clothes) didn't like what was going on in England re: religion so they hopped on a big boat, sailed to "India," met up with the "Indians," shared some "Indian" cuisine, settled in for the long haul, invited some friends over, killed the "Indians" with disease and gunpowder, and decided to make it a tradition to eat lots of food every November.

But what you didn't know was that the pilgrims (i.e. people with silly clothes) originally came from a town in England called Scrooby. Like Scrooby Doo. No wonder they liked turkey sandwiches so much.

Friday, November 20, 2009

The Right Man for the Job

It's the week before Thanksgiving. You know what that means?

Game Time!

Last Week's Winner

Last week, after Johnny talked about cereal icons, we decided to have a PSB Original Game Mashup: Bests and Worsts meets Ad Geniuses.

Here were Some of the Answers for the Worst Cereal and Ad Campaign. If you noticed, we just capitalize Random words Around Here.

Tony and Luca started us off with some 'our cereal is too sweet and unhealthy' ads. Tony went with "Sweet Fleet" a cereal marketed by Captain Cavity, while Luca came up with "Better Letters" whose spokesmen were the letters O, B, C, and D. Get it? OBCD, obesity, ABCD, alphabet?

Anyway, while both good answers, they have to lose because Captain Cavity would get in a fight with Cap'n Crunch, and the obese letters would not get along with the Alpha-bits, and basically all hell would break loose. And broken-loose hell is not a part of your complete balanced breakfast.

DJ and Joey Bag of Donuts came up with some cereal ideas for a more mature crowd with "Chocoholic" and "Jumpin Jesus Flakes". With taglines like "Chocolate is my favorite addiction!" and "when the son of God eats his cereal, he changes the milk into wine!", how can your cereal not be a hit? If not a hit, at least a slap. In the face of Christians and alcoholics everywhere.

And that leaves Sam as the winner this week with his cereal "Crunchy Critters" Nothing sells cereal like a constantly foiled cartoon character with a cute catchphrase.

"Everything is better when it crunches!"

This Week's Game

The other day...let's see...why it was Wednesday...Mike mentioned going to a gym owned by a couple guys named Jim, aka the Jims' Gym. That gave us an idea.

It's time for another round of the PSB Original Game Bests and Worsts. All you got to do is come up with an answer for this:

Best name that matches your occupation.

Here's our answer: Dan Sinmasheen. He's a professional dancer.

Whatchoo got?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

9 Minutes of Joy

You know how people say, "You snooze, you lose"? Well, I have an addendum to add at the end... um.

You snooze, you lose. I snooze, I win.

You can't beat 9 extra minutes of sleep.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Jim's Gym

I think everyone who works at a gym should be named Jim. That way you can say "I'm going to the gym" or "I'm going to the Jims" and still be right.

In fact, all occupations should only be allowed to hire workers with the same name. But, I guess that would make me a microphone. Never mind.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I got a great idea. I'm gonna make sandwich rolls made with cucumbers.

I'll call them Cucumber-Buns, and that way when people are looking to buy accessories for their tuxedos, they'll think I'm selling cummerbunds, but it'll really be a bread product.

Then they'll find them delicious and encourage all of their friends to go and buy some to go with their cucumber sandwiches that they're going to eat with afternoon tea. At that point, I'll switch it up, and start selling cummerbunds instead, but keeping the name the same. Then those friends will want cucumber rolls, but they'll get those silly belt type things and they'll be completely confused and disappointed.

Yes folks, I always think it's good business to confuse and disappoint your clientele.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Cereal Slogans

It's Grrrrrrrame Time!
Shlakes are for kids?
Cooookie Crisp?

Last Week's Winner

Last Wednesday, the Yankees won the World Series, so last Friday we played the PSB Original Game, Headliners, where you had to think of a clever headline chronicling the World Series victory.

Sam gave us a lot of responses. We particularly liked "Godzilla Defeats Mothra!" But, since Chump Utley's nickname is not, in fact, Mothra, Sam doesn't win.

Joey Bag of Donuts gave a shout out to the Hairston family, but since Jerry Hairston Jr. isn't really that good, and we have no evidence that Jerry Hairston III even exists, Joey can't win. Sorry!

But this week's winner is Mama Meg, as her headline accurately summarized the sentiment of many people around the country, especially most Nats fans: "Baseball Season Finally Over!" Well done, Meg! You should work for a newspaper. A cynical newspaper.

This Week's Game

This week, Johnny poked fun at cereals aimed at adults, saying all cereals should have a cute cartoon character hawking their product. But, as Johnny mentioned, the mascot is not always a character in upstanding character. So, we thought we would change this up and combine two of our games into one. We mashed up the PSB Original Games Bests and Worsts and Ad Geniuses to get this game:

Come up with an ad campaign that features the worst cartoon character for a cereal.

Ours is this: A cereal called Sugary Spartans has a Greek man named Diabetes selling the product.


Thursday, November 12, 2009

K of V

I think I'm gonna start a new fraternal order and call it the Knights of Vespucci. You know after Amerigo Vespucci, namesake of America, discovered by Columbus, namesake of Knights of Columbus, inspiration for Knights of Vespucci?

On second thought, I probably won't.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Saluting America's Heroes

For those of you who don't know, today is Veteran's Day, a day when all Americans salute the brave men and women in our military.

Figuratively salute, of course, since it would be silly to literally salute because the soldiers wouldn't be able to see you.

Unless, of course, there actually is a veteran in front of you, in which case you can literally salute our veterans.

Unless, of course, the veteran finds that condescending. In which case, in order to salute our veterans you should not salute our veterans, since saluting our veterans would be insulting our veterans.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


Anyone else find cereal commercials targeted at adults just strange?

I don't care if it's got fiber. Give me a cartoon character who loves eating it, and I will buy your cereal. It doesn't matter if he's a leprechaun, a vampire, a pirate, a criminal, or an annoying woodland creature. I want my cereal to be awesome, not healthy.

And it doesn't have to taste like apples.

Friday, November 6, 2009

World Series Headlines

For it's one, two, three strikes your out at the old Game Time!

Last Week's Winner

Halloween was last Saturday, and in honor of the ocasiĆ³n we played a little game where you had to come up with a spooooooky story. Thing is, you had to start the story with "I was in the graveyard when…"

Look at the answers yourselves if you want to, but some weird stuff happened with everybody forgetting the "when" and then re-posting their old comment with some misspelled form of "proofread" at the beginning and then adding in the "when" all at the same time in the early morning.

We at the Pake Shlake Band call shenanigans. Bad shenanigans. Not good shenanigans.

Big A wins. End of discussion.

This Week's Game

So the World Series took place this week, and six games later, we have a new world champion (if you consider the United States the "world" and a team with 27 championships as "new").

Anyway, since "new" "world" "champions" seems like big news to us, we've decided to play a round of the PSB Original Game, Headliners. You remember how to play? You'll figure it out. Here's the news summary:

The New York Yankees won their 27th World Series Championship on Wednesday, defeating the Philadelphia Phillies 7-3 in Game 6 at Yankee Stadium. It was the first year the Yankees have played at the new Yankee Stadium after closing the stadium of the same name built in 1923 after last season. Despite Phillies' 2nd baseman Chase Utley tying Reggie Jackson for most home runs in a World Series with five, Philadelphia could not come back from trailing the series 3-1. Hideki Matsui became the 1st ever Japanese born World Series MVP after hitting in six of the seven runs in Game 6. It was the first World Series championship for the Yankees since 2000, as it marked Alex Rodriguez's first and the fifth for Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada, and Mariano Rivera.

And now our headline for this article? Here it is:
Jeter and Rodriguez Get Rings for Thumb; ARod Starts With Thumb To Look Cool

Let's see if the PSB can't crown a "new" "Headliners" "world" "champion".

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Long Awaited Sequel

I just heard some amazing news. They are completing the trilogy. There were two classic movies many years ago, and now they are making a third. I couldn't be happier.

They're making Three Men and a Bride.

My dreams are finally coming true.

And now I just learned (as I'm writing this - if you believe a little bit of exaggeration) that they're also trying to make a Ghostbusters III.

Now if only they would ever complete Land Before Time XIV.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


It's time for a little fireside chat.

Senza the fire ifyouknowwhatimsayin'

Z: what's up?
you called before.

Shlakes: Oh yeah, I was in the car.
Z: whatd you want?
Shlakes: I wanted to know how to spell moustache.
Z: moustache
Shlakes: yeah, but i think it might might be mustache
Z: mustache
moustache is better

Shlakes: thats what i think
apparently its just a variant

Z: weird
i guess its also pronounced mus-stache
not moose-stache
maybe thats why

Shlakes: haha
moose have moustaches
muskrats have mustaches

Z: hmm
Shlakes: and the monkeys at meerkat manor have macho man marmot-staches
Z: hmm

Monday, November 2, 2009

Leftover Candy

Halloween has come and gone, but the candy remains. Now, I'm too old to go trick-or-treating, so I've gotten into the habit of buying extra candy so I have some leftovers once the trick-or-treaters are gone.

But, sometimes I'm afraid that there won't be enough left. So, I've also gotten into the habit of turning off my lights and bringing my pumpkin in, so no one comes to my door.