Mike: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Johnny: I don't know. What? Mike: Pilgrims! Johnny: And what do pilgrims bring? Mike: Um, what? Johnny: Rifles, supplies, diseases the Native Americans are ill-equipped to combat. Mike: And what do diseases bring? Johnny: Enmity, violence, reparations, the song "Cherokee People" by Paul Revere and the Raiders. Mike: That song is called "Indian Reservation(The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation Indian)." Johnny: Oh.
Are you ready for some Game Time? Well get ready. Because it's Game Time.
Last week, we played another round of the PSB Original Game, Bests and Worsts, and this one was all about the First Puppy. The DOTUS if you will. We asked for the best name of a Presidential Pet, and this is what you guys came up with.
Nick said Rover Cleveland. That's funny - like Grover Cleveland but Rover instead of Grover. Get it? Sami said Ruff-erford B. Hayes. That's funny too - like Rutherford B. Hayes but Ruff-erford instead of Rutherford. Get it?
Thing is, we said Chester A. Arfer as our guess, and while good answers, these two were too similar to ours. Next time, you should just type our answer back in and you'll save yourself some time.
Lorenzo had some weird formula to come up with his pet's name and the answer came out to be ... 2 pi r. No no no. George Jefferson of course. A great name for a character in a sitcom - so great he might even deserve his own spinoff- but not good dog material.
Sid said something about Ronaldo, and Tony said something inappropriate about lady dogs, but the winner goes to... Luca! Maverick would be the perfect name for President Obama's new puppy. Mainly because it's gonna pee wherever it wants.
Now on to this week's game. A PSB Original Game? Of course! We'll be playing a new round of the PSB Original Game Headliners. Here's the news snippet for you: Scientists have discovered a a mysterious, giant object 12.9 billion light-years away. When looking at objects that far away, astronomers are actually viewing what the object looked like billions of years ago when the universe was just forming. The gas cloud is much older than similar Lyman-Alpha blobs found by astronomers and has much more mass. The blob was named Himiko after a mysterious Japanese queen whose past is just as unknown.
And here's our headline for the story: Astronomers Forget It's Called Earth Day, Not Space Blob Day
Think you can do better? No? Come on, you've gotta have more self esteem than that. Post your headline in the comments.
I've got springtime allergies, and based on my nose, it is officially spring time. As of 6:12 yesterday evening.
At around 6:10, I started thinking, "Hey, my allergies haven't bothered me yet. This is awesome. Maybe I have finally learned to control myself and can combat the sneezing and itchy eyes through mental will power." Then I sneezed.
If only there were a baby around, he'd probably think I'm pretty funny right now.
So I was thinking a bit about cars (you know, cars meaning coaches). Isn't it weird that the gas we put into cars isn't gas - it's liquid? And the oil isn't really oil because nobody would want to cook french fries in it.
Next thing you're gonna tell me is that antifreeze isn't a superpower.
Meg's answer was Science. Not due to any creativity, but just because she doesn't like science. A fair point, but she was a little too broad. Science? That's like saying I don't like music. What? Who doesn't like music? Maybe you don't like Country, or Rap, but all of music? So, Meg loses for generality.
Tony said "How to predict the stock market". Actually, that's a good class to take a crash course in, it would get you prepared for the current economy.
DJ said a crash course in crash courses. We bet he thought he was pretty clever saying that. But, we wonder if he knew that the reason he thought he was clever was because he stole our idea. Yes, that's right, DJ. Check out this post's title. Did you think you would get away with it? Well, you didn't, you copy cat. Copy cat! Copy cat! You lose. Did you think we would be flattered? That copying us would make us feel honored, so we let you win? Imitation is the highest form of flattery, after all. That's right. And we think we give the best answers, so that means your answer was the best. So, you win! Congratulations, DJ! Onto this week's game.
For those of you who don't know, President Obama and his family recently got a dog for the White House. A Portuguese water dog, to be exact. They named him Bo in honor of Mrs. Obama's father, whose nickname was Diddley. Get it? Bo Diddley? Right, as in Bo Diddley. Well, we thought this was a good opportunity to play another round of the PSB Original game, Bests and Worsts.
Best name for the president's dog.
You can interpret this question in many ways. What is the best name for Barack Obama's dog? What is the best name for any president's dog? OK, so I guess you can interpret it in two ways. Unless you think of a third way, then by all means interpret away. Anyway, our answer for best dog name: Chester A. Arfer. Put your White House Hound names in the comments.
For those of you who don't know, today is the day after Easter. We sometimes call it Easter Monday, since it is the first Monday after Easter. But if you kind of smush the words together it sounds like you are celebrating Easter in the Caribbean. "Hey, mon, it's Easter, mon, Day. No problem, mon!" OK, I guess it doesn't really sound like that.
Howdy, folks! Today is Good Friday, and what could be better than a Game Time game?
Before we move on to this week's game, we would like to recap our previous game for you. We played the PSB Original game, Headliners, and asked you to come up with a clever headline to an article about the canceling of Guiding Light. Here are some of the best (or worst) answers, along with the winner.
First, Tony gave the headline "$25,000 Pyramid Returns!" which we thought was pretty funny, seeing as that was clearly not the point of the article. However, his subheadline was less funny, although needed to provide context, so we omitted it.
Sid gave us an enjoyable headline: "Guiding Light Extinguished. Housewives now in the dark." Good, but sexist. What, like househusbands can't watch a soap opera?
We also want to give a shout-out to Jen, for visiting our site and giving us her headline. "Perhaps if they had gotten a good writer in place instead constantly hiring writers with no talent and boring story lines they would have survived. They did this to themselves, my three year old daughter could have come up with a better story." A bit diatribe-like, but we are always glad when people play our games, even if they don't exactly understand them. Thanks, Jen! Come back soon!
Choosing a winner was hard this week. We really liked Nick's headline of "Lights Out!" It was concise and clever, and it probably should win. But it won't. Instead, we decided to give the W to Tony for his post "Guiding Light canceled. To return in six months with amnesia." What ended up being the decided factor? Well, Tony posted more than once, as evidenced above, which means he must have come to our site more than once. And we like to reward our fans. In other words, if you wanna win, come back and play again. A lot of times.
Earlier this week, Mike talked about the origin of the phrase "crash course," and we thought it would be a good time to play the PSB original game, Bests and Worsts. Here's the category:
Worst topic in which to take a "crash course."
Going along Mike's reasoning, we will say, Aviation. Think you have a better one, or rather, a worse one? Comment it. Grac.
For those of you who don't know, today is Holy Thursday. That's the day when Jesus had the Last Supper. You know - he invited all of his buddies over, had bread and wine, and commissioned Leonardo da Vinci to paint a mural about it.
(Oh and apparently, Wikipedia calls it Maundy Thursday which sounds like Monday Thursday but that's just too confusing.)
Anyway, that means yesterday was the day before Holy Thursday. That's when Jesus had the lesser-known Next to Last Supper.
You know the expression "crash course"? It means a class you take quickly to get the basics down. For example, if you were traveling to Mexico, you might take a crash course in Spanish. That way you could communicate with the locals. Anyway, I always assumed that this term originated from aviation, when someone would have to take a crash course in flying. I realized recently that this is totally ridiculous. Who would learn flying in a crash course? Launchpad McQuack, that's who.
Friday = Game Time. Game Time = Friday. Symmetric Property!
Last week, we introduced a PSB original game, Nicknames. We asked you to come up with a nickname for Jon Bon Jovi. Let's look at some of your responses and see who the winner is.
Tony posted first with his answer of "Bon Bon." A little later, Mark revealed that he was also going to put "Bon Bon," but that Tony beat him to the punch. Fortunately for Mark, "Bon Bon" is not the winner, so he will not have to spend his old age wondering, "What if I had posted first?" Just to be on the safe side, maybe Mark should subscribe to the RSS feed for next time.
David's nickname for Bon Jovi was "my songs are as tasty as anchovies." That's a bit of a mouthful. a mouthful of anchovies. We aren't convinced anchovies are tasty. If he had said, "my songs are as salty as anchovies," he might have earned our respect. Either way, David does not earn a win.
Luca gave the nickname "Obi Wan Jovi." We liked that one. Just not enough to make it win.
The winner is Meg, for her answer of "The Worker." I'm sure Bruce Springsteen would be proud, and Jon Bon Jovi would be embarrassed. Just the way we like things.
On to this week!
This week, Johnny mentioned that the longest running television program, Guiding Light, has been canceled. We thought this would be a good time to play another round of the PSB Original Game, Headliners. Here is the news article:
CBS announced on April 1st that it is canceling the soap opera "Guiding Light" with the final episode set to air on September 12. The show has been around for 72 years, starting in radio before transferring to television. It debuted on television on CBS in 1952, making it the longest running television drama. It is rumored to be replaced by $25,000 Pyramid.
So here's our headline. Guiding Light Canceled, Sailors Mourn
Think you can do better? Post your headline in the comments. Or else you might be canceled at 72 years old.
Oh my gosh. Did you hear? CBS is canceling Guiding Light! After 19 years on radio and 57 years on television, they are finally stopping the longest running show in history.
Now how are all of the sailors gonna know when they're dangerously approaching a crag?
What's that? You say Guiding Light wasn't just constant footage of a lighthouse? And even if it was, and somehow sailors were constantly watching TV, that wouldn't be at all helpful unless they were a part of the camera crew, in which case they wouldn't be moving anyway?
Hola mis amigos! It's time for another edition of Shlakese, the language of champions!
Pork - 1. Why; derived from the Spanish ¿Por que? 2. Pork (colloquial)
The second definition is rarely used, possibly because we don't use the term pork that often. Although we do use it occasionally. Here's a dialog clarifying this week's word's usage:
Example Johnny: Hey, Mike, would you like to taste of some of this pork? Mike: Pork? Johnny: Because I have a little that I don't want to eat, and I'm being generous. Geez! I won't even offer next time. Mike: No, you are misinterpreting my words. I meant "Pork?" as in, "You're offering me pork as opposed to beef? I want to make sure I heard you correctly." Johnny: Oh. But that usage of the term pork is colloquial.