Oh my gosh. Did you hear? CBS is canceling Guiding Light! After 19 years on radio and 57 years on television, they are finally stopping the longest running show in history.
Now how are all of the sailors gonna know when they're dangerously approaching a crag?
What's that? You say Guiding Light wasn't just constant footage of a lighthouse? And even if it was, and somehow sailors were constantly watching TV, that wouldn't be at all helpful unless they were a part of the camera crew, in which case they wouldn't be moving anyway?
Shows how much I know about daytime television.