Friday, December 19, 2008

Winter Wonder-what-the-heck-they're-talking-about-land

Last week, we started talking about Jimbos, Jambos, and Jumbos, and how great it would be to bestow those names upon children. Then we let all of you come up with your own reasons to name your kids thusly. Then we let everyone vote on the best reason. The votes came in, and look who won. Johnny! Johnny? You mean the Shlake of the Pake Shlake Band? The namesake of this website? Yes. That one. The one and only. We should start putting more than one entry in every week.

Anyway, on to this week's Game Time question. With Christmas less than a week away, Christmas songs are taking over the radio waves. And Christmas sharks are taking over the ocean waves. Because of this (the songs, not the sharks) we've been listening to a lot of strange music lately. Stranger than the music of the Pake Shlake Band, the nonsensical musical duo who just chant and speak Shlakese? Well not that strange.

Anyway, the point is, Christmas songs are weird. Some are good, many are not, but they all have their time to shine this week. Listening to the songs, we've noticed some strange lyrics here and there. Johnny already pointed out that Santa shouldn't have to figure out who's been naughty and nice. And that's just one example. So here's the question:

What is the weirdest lyric in a Christmas song?

We think it's gotta be "bells on bobtails ring" from "Jingle Bells". What does that even mean? Why does Bob have a tail? And why on earth are there bells on it?

What do you think are some weird lyrics from Christmas songs?


  1. 12 Days of Christmas, pretty much any day except 5 Gold Rings.

    These are gifts?
    8 Maids a-milking - I'd prefer 8 maids a-cleaning, now that's a gift
    9 Ladies dancing - mail order brides?
    10 Lords a-leaping - excuse me?

  2. I don't know what they say in 'The Christmas Song' after "...and every mother's child ___________ to see if reindeer really know how to fly..."

    -is gonna try
    -is on the sly
    -has gone to spy
    -has got their pie
    -is gone awry

    Nat King Cole has the coolest, clearest, most enunciating voice ever, someone must have given him a marshmallow or something during that part.

  3. Up on the housetop. Why does the boy get weapons instead of toys? Hammer and tacks, baseball bats, and whips sound like a nasty combination.

  4. For me it is the entire song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." I mean, why is it okay that Santa is a home-wrecker in that song? And why would Daddy laugh if he saw Mommy kissing a stranger in the middle of the night in the family home? I think some other response would be more natural. There is something wrong with that song.

  5. In the beginning to "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)" it has Yoko saying "Happy Christmas Yoko" and then John says "Happy Christmas John".....why are they wishing themselves a merry christmas? That is just rude.